Today, marks the physical day of the passing of my Aurora. The actual date isn't until tomorrow but I feel as her one year anniversary of her passing, that I should probably write this today.
2012 was one of the hardest years for me and I would have to say, losing Aurora has crushed my heart that I'm still desperately searching for the one, as in the one that could be like her. Aurora filled my heart with so much love and joy that she's most definitely irreplaceable and I would never dream of trying to find another Aurora, as there will never be another Aurora but I do know that I will find a horse that fills my heart with as much love as she did.
I have my horses that I love and I would be devastated to lose them too but she was my best friend, she loved being with me and the feeling was definitely mutual. She was not perfect by any means but that allowed me to keep myself on my toes with her and to never just be satisfied. We both chose to better ourselves except with Aurora, she was sick and she was never going to get better.
Aurora, for those of you who don't know, had a condition called Anxiety disorder. What?? You might ask. Yes, she had an anxiety disorder from being mistreated as a young filly and it ruined her lungs. She was developing heaves faster than you could say your name and in 2010 when she abscessed in her left front hoof so bad that she couldn't walk for 3 months, that halted our reining training and she headed up to pasture. When her normal exercising stopped, her lungs closed up and she couldn't breathe very well so we decided that if her life was going to be short, we would breed her.
In late winter early spring of 2012, Aurora was expected to deliver her first foal. In precaution, we brought her up to monitor her and to my devastation, my young filly hurt Aurora and she lost the foal only a few weeks before she was due.
A year ago today, in a freak fluke accident, Aurora lost her life and to my horror, I found her. Thankfully Jordan had just arrived to look after a flat tire I had and was there for me. Nikki was in the house with my niece as I crumpled. I lost my everything that day and things with horses and I just haven't been quite the same since. Some would say, its just a horse. Those that know, know differently.
Aurora taught me so many different things. I've had my besties over the years, Ima being one of them, but Aurora was special. I miss her every single day. I miss her especially when I'm dealing with a difficult horse that doesn't want to be caught as she always wanted me to bring her out, she always wanted to be with me. I will eventually let it go but as for now, I'm just moving forward and remembering her as the sweetest, kindest, most loving horse I have ever had and she will forever fill my heart with love.
I miss you Aurora, I hope the green grass is keeping your lungs clear and that one day, we can meet again and slide and spin for eternity. I love you.
Lovely post. <3
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